Finding Light in Darkness: A Journey of Hope and Healing
Gina Defa's story begins in darkness. As a young girl growing up with an alcoholic mother and an abusive stepfather named Jack, she learned early on to survive by disconnecting - watching her life unfold like a movie rather than living it. But amidst the trauma and chaos, a small light flickered within her that would ultimately guide her path to healing.
That light first revealed itself through a profound encounter with a stranger at one of her mother and Jack's drunken parties. Hidden under a table to escape the chaos, a man found her and spent time teaching her to draw a parakeet. "If anything is ever troubling you, if you are worried or scared, draw the parakeet," he told her. "You are going to be okay." This simple act of kindness and the parakeet drawing became an anchor she would return to again and again throughout her life.
Despite the ongoing abuse at home, Gina found ways to protect her inner spirit. She refused to drink when Jack tried to get her to, maintained her grades in school, and eventually joined the Air Force at 18 - her ticket to building a different kind of life. The military provided the structure and clarity she craved after years of chaos.
Through marriage, motherhood, divorce, career changes and personal growth, Gina continually worked to heal from her past trauma while raising her three daughters with the love and stability she never had. She went to therapy, built a successful career in insurance, and slowly learned to trust herself and others.
But perhaps her greatest act of healing came when she finally forgave her mother shortly before her death. After years of maintaining she didn't need to forgive, Gina felt God soften her heart. When she learned her mother was dying, she was able to send a message of forgiveness, bringing peace to them both.
Today, Gina lives in Oregon, where she helps others find and trust their own inner light, regardless of their past. Her story is one of resilience, showing how even in the darkest circumstances, that small flicker of light within can guide us home if we're brave enough to follow it.
Through raw honesty and vulnerability, Gina reveals how she transformed from a traumatized child into a woman of strength and purpose. She shares her journey not just of surviving abuse, but of truly healing - learning to "be" rather than just "do." Her memoir reminds us that while we can't control the circumstances we're born into, we can choose how we move forward from them.
The parakeet drawing that comforted her as a child becomes a powerful metaphor for hope and healing. Just as she returned to it in her darkest moments, Gina encourages others to find their own anchors of light and to trust that even after profound trauma, peace and joy are possible with faith, perseverance and grace.
